a psych ward memoir by Bela Z.
Bela & I were “psych ward twins.” (BPD-addled transgender ketamine fiends) We were hospitalized for similar reasons, & she journaled religiously throughout her stay. She discharged before me, headed to out-of-state residential, & gave me her journal to publish. Its contents made her uncomfortable, but she felt people should “see the reality” of what these experiences are like, & hoped it might help others feel less alone. THE BLEAK TIMES is not a hopeful read. Bela wanted to get better & was looking forward to residential, but was pessimistic about her ability to achieve lasting recovery. I have not heard from her since we parted ways in January. Names & places have been redacted per her request. The diary will be published one day at a time.
TW: suicide, self-harm, eating disorders, drug use, hospitals/psych wards, body dysmorphia, gender dysphoria
“Please read my diary, look through my things and figure me out.” – Kurt Cobain
the r0z garden 
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